The first week of 2017 has passed and for me in particular, it’s been a compilation of signs and clarity. The year of 2016 had its highlights, but to be frank, I was more than ready for it to come to an end. As I sat back to reflect on my year, I experienced struggles, rejections, disappointments, sadness, self-doubt, heartbreak, and so on. But the most annoying part of 2016 was all of the “cheap talkers” that I dealt with.
My definition of a “cheap talker” is someone who only speaks about what they’re planning to do without providing any type of action behind their words. I experienced this from people CONSTANTLY in 2016, specifically with business and personal relationships. If I had a dollar for every time someone has made a plan or reservation and it never happened, I’d probably have enough money to get out of student loan debt. I completely understand that some people mean well and unexpected moments occur; however, I’m just at the point in my life where I’m sick and tired of hearing excuses and I’ve developed a major intolerance for “bullshit.”
Also, I realized that the reason why I gave so much of my time and energy to all the cheap talking is because I was still uncertain about the path I was on, experiencing a lot of self-doubt, and feared the thought of failing. Towards the end of the 2016 was when the clarity started to kick in and surprisingly it happened after ending a year and a half long relationship.
A few months ago, a man who was my first serious boyfriend, first real love, and the only man I’ve been with for over a year decided to end our relationship. Everything was great between us in the beginning. We took things slow by getting to know one another and developed a strong connection. There were even times he would mention marriage. The love I had for him was the type that was real and unexplainable. I cared a lot for him and the feeling was mutual; well so I thought.
It wasn’t until the end of 2016 when the spark between us fizzled out. I didn’t think of it as a big deal at first. I figured it was normal for couples in long relationships to have dry-spells every once in a while. Plus I was with a man who I knew I could see myself with for a very long time. He, on the other hand, handled the situation differently than I did. While I had faith in us, he had doubts and felt we were on different paths. As a result, he hit me with the infamous breakup line “it’s not you, it’s me.” You couldn’t even begin to imagine how pissed I was from hearing that cliché of an excuse!
It truly sucked getting dumped by someone I cared about deeply. What’s even worse is believing that this person loved me just as much as I loved him. I committed more than a year of my life to a man who truly didn’t want to be with me in the first place. That shit made my blood boil because I’m fully aware of my worth and he just wasn’t able to see it. Then I realized that it’s not up to me to convince him and it’s no use in fighting to be with someone who’s unsure of where you stand.
“If you find yourself constantly trying to prove your worth to someone, you have already forgotten your value.” – UNKNOWN
On the bright side of things, although heartbreaks are tough, I’m glad I went through it because it was actually a blessing in disguise. It’s crazy how once the relationship ended, so many opportunities arose and my attitude changed for the better. You know that saying “when one door closes, other doors open?” Well I can testify that that statement is very REAL!
Overall, the breakup sparked a flame within me. It’s a reminder of the person that I am. I’m someone who has a limitless imagination. I think big, dream big, have big goals, and realize that fear and doubt are what holds me back. I’m GREAT and don’t intend on being or settling for anything less. I only yearn for relationships that I can build with and grow from. I now no longer have interest in wasting time with “cheap talkers.” This is the year I’m dodging all of that nonsense. Whether it’s from business associates, family members, friends, boyfriend prospects, and most importantly from myself. If I only speak about my plans and don’t attempt to execute, I’m only cheating myself
. This first week of 2017 has reassured me that now is the time to stop talking and start doing.
What enhanced the flame was the night of December 30th. A close girlfriend of mine decided to host a “Girls Night In” gathering. We created vision boards of the goals we seek to accomplish in 2017. It was an empowering experience being amongst young women who were strong with similar interests and struggles. Most importantly, everyone conveyed an immense amount of love and support for one another. As a result, it made me more fearless and determined than I’ve ever been before in my life.
This is the year of making things happen, and I’m happy to say that it’s going quite well so far. I wanted to get dressed up and go to a fancy New Years Eve party and that’s exactly what I did. I want to become healthier and I’m taking the steps to accomplish that. I want to broaden my professional and personal relationships and I’m taking the initiative to do just that. I want to expand my income and I’m making moves to earn more money. I want to continue enjoying life and I vow to never stop doing that! I want to grow stronger mentally, physically, and spiritually so now practicing balance is a priority of mine. But most importantly, I want to live within my purpose and evolve into the person God intended for me to become, and that’s exactly what I’m doing!
“Be fearless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire!” – UNKNOWN